Long Distance > Living Together

Hello friends! Hope you having a wonderful Wednesday. I’ve been living in Minneapolis for a little while now and I am loving it! Exploring a new city with my favorite person and getting to know each other better has been so amazing.

As many of you know, Bryan and I were in a long distance relationship for about 5 years. And we have been together almost 6 years! Most of our relationship has been Skype dates, nine hour drives, seeing each other once a month (if that), and growing independently.

When he got the job in Minnesota and asked me if I wanted to move with him, I knew it felt right. Long distance to living together is quite a dramatic transition and there are some key things we have learned about each other!

* Scheduling! 

For me, this is one of the most foreign ideas I had to learn. Being apart for so long, Bryan did not need to know my plan for every day. It wasn’t that I was hiding it from him, but he did not know every move I made. But now, it’s important that each of us know the other person’s plan. Getting around this hasn’t been too difficult; we created a shared Google Calendar and that has helped immensely.

* Clean up your shit!

Neither Bryan, or I are particularly messy people. But when you are living with someone else, even someone you are comfortable with, you have to be respectful that this is there space too. Just this morning, I left the apartment a bit messy (curling iron on the vanity, pjs on the floor) and while I intend to make it home before Bryan to clean it up, I let him know via text that it’s my mess I intend to take care of. Luckily, years of long-distance solidified our communication skills!

* Share duties!

I’d like to think we are doing this well thus far; we split up cleaning duties. Bryan does all the laundry and I do all of the folding. He prefers to clean the kitchen and living rooms, while I prefer to clean the bathroom and bedroom. Allowing all of the weight to fall on one person is a quick and easy way to create an argument; so far we have done well at splitting chores evenly.

* Be honest!

Personally, I’m not one to hide my feelings, but Bryan is learning to speak up if something is bothering him. This is so important because feelings can manifest and lead to a blow up; when something is bothering you, especially in the space you’re living, it is so important to just address it right away.

* Sharing expenses!

This has been weird, and something we haven’t really gotten used to yet. Bryan and I intend on creating a shared bank account, but haven’t gotten to it (moving to a new state is HARD.) But we started by using my savings, and now that I am here and unemployed, we’ve shifted to his paychecks. HA! So once we both have a steady income this will be an obstacle to tackle.

* Maintain boundaries!

Bryan and I are both extroverted and enjoy hanging out with people, but we both value alone time every once in a while. Even though it doesn’t always sync up, we’ve successfully been respectful of each others time. Just last week, I watched my favorite show The Bold Type in the bedroom, while Bryan played video games in the living room. It was simple but each of us enjoyed time to ourselves.

Now, it has only been about two weeks and I don’t want to imply we have it all figured out, but this journey has been phenomenal. Honestly, I’ve grown to be grateful for the time we spent apart; it has made this adjustment more exciting!