Ohhhh man. It has been just over one week since I moved states and let me tell you, it has not been easy. Leaving behind family, a job I was thriving at, friends, and my home has been so challenging. Before leaving, my expectations were high, I was bright eyed and ready to go! … And now reality is starting to hit.
Learning a new area has been challenging; I am eager to find hang out spots and make friends. I knew this wasn’t going to. be easy, and I haven’t been here that long, but I was hit with a bit of loneliness this past Sunday. In Michigan, my friend group was overflowing. Often, I stressed over how to make time to see everyone; this has been the polar opposite. I’ve got to keep pushing and putting myself out there, but it is hard leaving behind so many people I love.
Navigating a new job is stressful in and of itself, but that, on top of everything else has been weighing on me. If you know me, you know I don’t handle excessive stress well. What I’m having to continue reminding myself is that this is the same anxiety that hits me every time I start anything new. It’s scary, but I have faith I will conquer it. I just have to push through this stage.
Leaving behind my family has been the hardest part of moving away. Lots of people are eager to get out of their parents’ house; while this was an exciting and important step, it’s been heartbreaking being far away from my people. I’m not sure how long I’ll live away, but this is one thing I will never get used to; it may become easier, but I will never be comfortable with this. I’m missing the laughter, the tears, the Front Room Café with my mom!
In all of this, my expectations have fallen a bit short. But in one very important aspect my expectations have been exceeded. Bryan has been my constant. We have spent so much time apart in the past 4 years, to finally be together is so rewarding. It is so much better than I could’ve anticipated.
This experience is continuing to shape who I am as a person, and while I may still be adjusting, I don’t regret this choice one bit. I’m so thankful this opportunity came to me and so grateful I said YES. I apologize this post has several negative undertones, but that is just where my brain is at right now. Stick with me and I’m sure I’ll brighten up soon.